Thursday, March 13, 2014

Goodbye, my prince

It's been more than three months since we broke up, and although I do not subscribe to that 3-month rule shit, I think it has given us enough time to think - enough time to contemplate about what we need and what we merely want, what we can't live with anymore and what we can't live without. What makes us happy. No more breathing underwater. At least for me, I can stop holding my breath.

But I can't say I've completely healed. I understand that there will still be days that I'll go through cycles of hatred, longing, sadness. It will take more months. Years, even. But I hope not.

The scars you left will forever be there, reminders of forced emotional maturity. I know I'll thank you one day for this, but I only have indifference for you today.

Please give me space to breathe, to grow, to move on. I don't need you checking up on me to know how I'm doing. It's just confusing me, making me hate you even more. I don't need to know that you're here, that you are glad to accidentally see me. I can't welcome you with open arms yet. Give me time.

I have no idea how you are doing. I already blocked you in any social media account imaginable. I can only wish you are doing well.

Goodbye, my prince. You gave me unforgettable moments in my life. I will not bury the memories we shared - they will be forever treasured. But I need to make new ones, this time without you.

I don't need a new prince anytime soon, I'd only hurt them. I will just be unfair to them. I'm a big boy now. I can stand by my own two feet planted firmly on the ground. I don't need anyone to sweep me off my feet.

Goodbye, my prince.

Good bye, Dad.